He’s dependable, unbendable. He’s lasting not expendable.
His range is comprehensive and his tables are extendable!
He’s laudable, affordable, his service is applaudable.
His kitchenware is stackable and therefore super-storable!
He’s reliable, so buyable, his value’s undeniable.
His perfect Parker Pen display is practically cry-able!
His shelving leaves me shivery. His guarantee’s unquibbly,
and nothing ever quite compares to his punctual delivery!
The sight of me will turn you mush-like.
My pullover’s my pride and my ride is a pushbike.
I cycle like the devil, speeding round for pure joy
In my jewel-encrusted cycle clips and hoodie made of corduroy.
I always wear my safety vest with blinging neon stripe
I’ve pimped my bike with uplights, some slippers and a pipe,
And I cruise round town with the stereo I fling
In my basket, blasting out carols from Kings – man, those choirboys can sing!
Oh! No! My baby is a Mango!
It seems I’m not the only one – my poor friend Mary-Sue
Went through fifteen hours of labour just to pop out a pack of Danish Blue…
Oh! No! My baby is a mango!
He’ll never be Prime Minister or asked to join a quango…